Fragments
by MeganePurinko
Summary: It was a piece of suppressed memory, keeping away what hurt and what was loved. "It always feels like I'm missing a piece of something though, Kiku... something vital that a hero just shouldn't miss." "If I remember him... what if it hurts?"


I wrote a story with these two... and it's weird. What did I expect? I wanted fluffy emotional crap and instead I got like... this whole paradox thing. Yeah, I'm keeping it like this for symbolic reasons. Let's see how many people I can annoy and confuse with this... thing. Whoo. Look forward to it.

Main Characters: America and Canada, with traces of England, France, Japan, and other... nations that just show up and fade back out.

Warnings: Weirdness, dark themes, almost blatant creepy slash (?), drama, weirdness, possible historical inaccuracies, a little language, stupid symbolism, stupidity in general, possibly (definite) false characterizations, and more confusing 'WTH' garbage.

Extra note: Human names and Country names are interchangeable here. When referring to one another in human names, it's meant to imply either intimacy or seriousness or both. Country names are just supposed to be in casual conversation.

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't even deserve a letter in Hetalia.**

Have fun with this.

...if you, er, even can. If you can, I admire you. Really.

Shut up now, me.

* * *

><p>"How long have you been having these… illusions, America-san?"<p>

Japan gulped nervously while the superpower across from him grinned, crossing his legs in the chair and allowing sky blue eyes to wander upwards toward the ceiling.

"I don't even know if they _are_ illusions," he admitted, his smile faltering just a bit on his face. "It always feels like I'm missing a piece of something though, Kiku… something _vital _that a hero just shouldn't miss."

Kiku frowned at the usage of his human name. _It must be serious…_

"I… I can't help you if you don't even know what's wrong with yourself."

"I'm not surprised. I'm really not." America sighed, eyes glancing back upwards. "Like I expected anything else."

* * *

><p>It started when it was storming outside and he was playing one of his games. The doors shut and caused the ship to blow up; game over flashed on the screen and there was a pounding at his door that nearly had him jump.<p>

Not that he was afraid… just startled.

Alfred rushed to the door and yanked it open… only to end up with his arms full of the person who knocked, this person wet and shivering and clinging to his sleeves like it was the last lifeline he had.

"Alfred… Alfred…" and he was shaking his head back and forth, damp blond curls sticking to his pale face and that voice was soft, almost a whisper against the pouring rain and booming thunder. Lightning flashed out and when the person glanced up, the American was floored with wide indigo doe eyes that looked almost terrified. "Please… Please…"

And he buried his face in Alfred's chest, weeping. "I… I don't know how much I can take…"

He was shaking and desperate. America held him close out of instinct before realizing something in his horror that had him freeze with a crying boy in his arms.

_I don't know who this person is._

He almost felt sick to his stomach.

* * *

><p>"T-Thank you for taking me in, Alfred," and this person he didn't know was going on as Jones was getting more and more terrified, not sure whether or not this was ghost or…<p>

_No. I felt a heartbeat when he…_

There were still so many questions. Until then, it was best for him to act like the best hero and take this poor victim (of what?) in… Besides, he didn't have the heart to throw the other out just because he had no idea who he was.

The person was pouring himself coffee, adding sugar and maple syrup. For some reason, Alfred felt this was important. The person poured another coffee, adding sugar and honey.

Alfred felt his stomach drop at remembering that was the way _he_ liked it.

This person knew him… obviously from the way he wept his name and knew just how to prepare his coffee. And he had no idea who this person was.

He blew at the steam delicately, nose crinkling cutely before handing him his cup and smiling, a blush softly dusting his cheeks pink. "T-That's the way you like it, right? Forgive me… it… it's been so long since we hung out like this at your house…"

Alfred had no idea how to respond to that but to force a gracious smile on his face.

"Y-Yeah… thanks, dude…"

He smiled sadly in return and sipped at his own coffee.

"So many things have changed… haven't they?"

Jones could only agree.

* * *

><p>He hesitated in calling England about the not-ghost in his house (that was currently sleeping in the guest room, mind you) and he slammed the phone on the receiver just as his former brother picked up and grumpily wondered <em>"America? It's two am over here, you stupid git…"<em>

The phone rang again afterwards and he picked up, sighing as he quickly cut off the brit's raging on the other end.

"It's nothing, England. I was just bored."

"_W-Wha-?"_

America clicked the phone off and cursed. It rung again and he got irritated.

He still answered.

"_Alfred…"_ The older nation's voice was gentle and he couldn't stand _that_. Every single time he heard or saw _that_ state, all he remembered was Britain, on his knees in the rain and covering his face as he sobbed. _He used to be so grand._

Then he remembered a flicker of blond in those memories and soft hands roughly pushing him away into reality.

His eyes snapped open. When had he even closed them?

"_Alfred, what's wrong?" _Arthur sounded worried. _"I know you. You called because you were scared of something right?"_

Alfred hesitated before laughing softly and ruefully, "Yeah right… Heroes don't get scared…" He hung up again and flinched when he heard stirring upstairs as a soft yawn resonated from the room above.

Whoever this person was, he heightened his senses and made his stomach curl in an uncomfortable warmth.

"Is something wrong?" And he was down the stairs and by his side in a heartbeat, blinking indigo eyes drearily. "You seem troubled, Alfred…"

"No, I'm fine and…" Alfred trailed off, meeting those purple eyes again before sighing softly, realizing that the other looked so much younger without glasses on. "Go back to sleep. You need it."

He beamed a little softly and planted a chaste kiss on Alfred's cheek before returning to the room upstairs.

Once he was gone, Jones slid to the ground, fingers against where he was kissed, wondering blankly why his cheek was tingling from the sensation.

"Oh Lincoln, help me…" he moaned, dropping his head altogether with a groan. "I don't know what I'm missing that _he_'s getting."

* * *

><p>"Is someone missing?" Germany looked up with a growl at the number of nations at the meeting. "Who is missing?"<p>

They murmured amongst themselves and there were no suggestions.

"Strange, I wonder who it is…" France muttered while England shot him a weird look.

"Caring for someone other than yourself, frog? Are you upset that this means one last person to molest?"

"England, you don't have this same sinking feeling that I do, non?"

Arthur was startled by the question and coughed, blushing heavily. "T-The bloody hell are you talking about?"

"…It's nothing…" The Frenchmen took out a rose, breathing it in. "Nothing at all."

America drummed his fingers on the table, frown deepening. _It can't have anything to do with that guy that's still at my house, can it…?_

"Vee, Mister America, you look troubled…" Italy tilted his head to the side with a dreamy smile. "Perhaps you need pasta?"

"Dammit Veneziano, mind your own business!" Romano yelled at him from across the table, fuming, before turning to the American with an eyebrow raised. "And you, I don't like that look on your face, hamburger bastard."

America perked up and just caught the worried gaze that Japan (and England) shot him before grinning widely and gathering his papers as he got ready to stand.

"Ah, it's probably no one important. Let's just continue the meeting."

* * *

><p>"H-How'd it go, Alfred?" He was wrapped in a blanket so that all was covered except his face. He looked shaken and America still wasn't sure what to do with this stranger. "I… I bet no one asked about…"<p>

He trailed off, sighing sadly. "No, of course they wouldn't… the fact that you're not early means that the meeting went on without a hitch. Of course… Of _course_…"

"How did you…?" Alfred stopped when the other curled in further into himself, shaking and looking like he was about to cry all over again. "Hey, dude… don't you get all upset…"

"A-At least I have you, right Alfred?" And he looked hopefully up at him and America felt disgusted with himself.

"…Yeah… Yeah, I guess ya do…"

The lie was like acid on his tongue but it pacified the other and made him smile and for that, the superpower was grateful.

* * *

><p><em>While not the sentimental sap that Arthur turned into whenever remembering the 'good ol' days', Alfred still remembered those days with a bittersweet feeling.<em>

_As lonely as those days were, since England left him alone for the majority of his growing up… but for some reason, he never truly felt alone though he usually tacked that up as feeling like his colonizer was with him through all the presents that the man had brought him._

_But there was more to it. There had to of been._

"_E-Excuse me…? Alfred… Alfred…"_

_Alfred flinched, still the thirteen colonies and still so dependent on England. The voice came closer yet became softer and he yelped when tiny hands gripped his pant leg, just below his hip._

_The presence scampered back with a whimper and Alfred faced him, curious. He was still in his preteens, not quite an adult, understandably, but this company of his was smaller, still draped in childish white toddler gowns as tears welled up in his violet eyes._

"_I-I'm sorry!" he cried, curling up. "I didn't mean to startle you…!"_

"…_Who are you?" Alfred asked curtly, a hand on his hip as the other looked at him, utterly surprised._

"_Y-Your brother Canada…" It was a response almost automatic and twin tears fell down those chubby cheeks. "M-Matthew… remember?"_

_He didn't but felt bad about making the child cry regardless. He knelt down and opened his arms to the other._

"_C'mere…"_

_The child—Canada—didn't hesitate on rushing into his embrace as he scoped the other up easily, cooing into his hair the soft melodies that England used to sing to him._

_Matthew was yielding and cuddly in his grip and America felt a smile tug at his lips as he buried his face in the silky blond locks._

"_Love you, brother…" the younger giggled in his ear, arms wrapping around the other's neck as he snuggled in close. Alfred's smile fell right off his face as he pushed his sibling's head closer, wondering why he suddenly felt edgy and warm. "Love you."_

_Borders became blurred._

* * *

><p>"<em>Angleterre <em>is worried about you. Not that I care, of course."

America threw the paper airplane, watching it glide across the empty meeting room. France didn't look at him and he didn't look at France.

"He bothered _moi _about you, can you believe it?" France laughed harshly, voice tight. "_Dieu_, it's so cute when he acts like it's not bothering him when it is…"

"Why are you here, Frenchie?" America finally asked, not even bothering with the atmosphere as he glared at the older nation. "Can't a guy be left to his thoughts?"

"…There was still someone missing today. Do you know who it was?"

"Why should I?"

"No need to get so defensive," Francis smirked as he held his hands up. "My, you're still feisty aren't you?"

"Dude, gross. Anyway, I need to get back to my place before…" he trailed off, not sure what to call his still unknown guest. "…Before Tony blows it up or something."

"_Amerique_, just because you won't read the atmosphere doesn't mean I won't also," France called after him. "You do realize that troubles only stack up when suppressed, oui?"

America paused for just a moment and sighed.

"Yeah…" He thought back to fire, to hands pinned against one of the burning buildings and _screams_. "I know."

* * *

><p>"<em>Why won't you join me?"<em>

_Matthew flinches at the accusation and finally musters up a glare against his brother. "W-Why should I, Alfred? What reason do I have for turning against the one figure in my life who took me didn't fling me to the side for another?"_

"_Oh cut the crap, bro. We both know England would throw you away in a heartbeat if he had to choose between us."_

_Canada froze, looking utterly helpless for a moment before shaking his head furiously. "N-No, he…"_

"_You're no one's first choice and you know it."_

"_T-That's not true…" Canada was shaking, voice cracking and tears welling up all over again. "I… I… England wouldn't do that… he can't do that… I-I know him… not to me…"_

"_You're just one part of his extensions. You're in his shadow. Aren't you sick of that?" Alfred turned his head in disgust. "He thinks my people are just his servants… and if I can't have him at the same level, I'll just have him under me."_

_And Matthew sees the fire burning in that statement and he's afraid of what would happen to him if Alfred took him. Arthur… Arthur couldn't completely take over with that ocean between them, but the border he shared with Alfred was frighteningly fragile enough as it was._

"_I can't do this, Alfred. I can't."_

"_But why?" He turned on him again, furious and Canada barely has time to scramble away before he's slammed into the ground, the wooden boards cracking and splinters stabbing into his back. "Why won't you just join me?"_

"_Because, Alfred… I'm not like you." Tears welled up in his eyes as he finally pushed the other away, standing up and rubbing at his neck, at the bruises on his frail skin. "I can't be like you."_

_Alfred didn't move as the other ran from him but vowed to get the other back under his wing._

_It was only one of his many broken promises._

* * *

><p>"I-I'm worried about Kumadarou… I left him at my house without so much as an explanation… and he's probably hungry… Should I go back? Yes, I should… I should probably go back."<p>

When Alfred opened the door, he was already pulling on his coat and stopped as soon as he saw the American standing there, an instant smile fluttering to his lips.

"O-Oh, Alfred… I… I'm going to get Kumakichi and it'll be a while… Don't worry about me, alright?"

America stiffly nodded. _How am I supposed to worry when I don't even know who you are?_

"It'll be a while," he repeated, like he was trying to convince himself that rather than Alfred. "I'll only be a while, and then I'll be back and… in your hair… Oh."

The slimmer blond faltered, looking at the superpower guiltily. "Am I… being a bother, Alfred? I… I won't come back if that's the case. I won't ever come back and I'll just… disappear."

Pain shot through his being and before being aware of it, America shook his head quickly.

"No, no! It's alright! You're welcome here as long as possible, Ma…" He stopped, train of thought snapping as the 'Ma' guy smiled sweetly.

"You're too kind…" And then he gave the other another quick peck on the cheek before rushing out. "See you, Alfred!"

_What the hell was that…?_ Jones wondered, not so sure as he remained frozen right in front of the door 'Ma' just shut behind him. _All of a sudden, I didn't want him to leave… And now, I still can't believe he's gone… even if it's for a little bit…_

He quickly shook his head and decided to rummage through his fridge for burgers.

He wasn't even going to try and figure out what name started with 'Ma'.

* * *

><p>It took him maybe an hour to give in and call Japan. For some reason, he had a feeling that the stranger-not stranger—<em>His name was Ma<em>—wouldn't come again for a while.

"_Can I, ah, help you, America-san?"_ He sounded tense on the other end._ "I'm a little busy, but there's no problem…"_

The dude was cleaning. Kiku was always such a neat freak.

"Yeah, Kiku, I have a question. What if there's someone who knows me… but I don't know him?"

"_Huh? America-san, that is a little…"_

"I'm a popular guy, yeah, so there are lots of nations who know me that I don't pay attention to… like that… one African island chick that France groped at Christmas a few years back, whoever the hell she was… but this one's different, Kiku. He knows things about me that even _England_ never figured out. It's creepy."

"_Maybe it's an… admirer? And, ah, _he_?"_

"Yes, it's a him… and now that I think about it…" Realization dawned on him and he gulped. "He has my _face_, Kiku. You… You don't think he's trying to take over my life do you?"

_No, he wouldn't do that…_

He wasn't sure why he was sure of that.

"Never mind, that was dumb. But who is this guy? I feel like I should know him, Japan. Isn't there anyone like that for you? Someone that you should know but don't… at least not really?"

"…_I'm not exactly sure if the person I'm thinking of applies to this situation…"_ Japan sounded uneasy on the other end and thought of China. _"But… if it's someone important to you, you'll remember eventually, America-san… one way or another."_

"The thing is… I'm scared if I do. The kid brings back memories, Kiku, and they're not all good ones." Alfred bit his lip. "If I remember him… what if it hurts?"

"_You're a hero, Alfred-san. You'll pull through one way or another."_

America finally smiled, laughing a bit shakily.

"I-I can't even be sure anymore…"

* * *

><p>"Alfred, I'm back!" a voice cheerfully called out as he (Ma? Ma…) skipped in, this time carrying a white polar bear with him. He was laughing and America just about had enough. "I… I took longer than expected; it's just… um… I wanted to get back as soon as possible and…"<p>

He stammered a bit more before presenting him with the bear. "Look! It's Kumaroo! At least he's healthy right?"

"Yeah, that's great," Alfred grumbled, taking his eyes away from the bear. He wasn't surprised for some reason, and he didn't know why. "He's healthy and… make sure he doesn't touch my whale."

"No, no… Kumagama is much smarter than that, Al…" He paused in setting down the bear and turned to him, curious. "Is something bothering you? I… I am being a bother, aren't I? I'm so sorry… I don't mean and…"

"Why are you here anyway?" It was a question that had been eating at him for weeks—months—and the other flinched.

"I… I don't know where else to go…" he admitted in a whisper-soft voice, although it was like he was trying to be strong. "France has never really looked at me and I… I'm terrified to go to England… You were the only person I could think of who wouldn't look at me and see…"

"Who are you?"

Silence fell and the boy froze instantly, indigo eyes wide as he tried to smile.

"T-That's not funny, Alfred…"

"No, I'm serious," Alfred insisted, though he considered acting like he was joking just so he could be spared from that look of utter betrayal. "I… I had no idea who you were from the second you came here…"

"But… you let me stay here so long… I… I made you coffee and pancakes every morning…" He sounded like he couldn't believe it. America shrugged.

"Yeah, those were great, but… The point of the matter is that I don't know who the hell you are. Who are you?"

"Who?" the bear echoed to his owner who was shaking, looking like everything around him just shattered in a matter of seconds. "Who are you again?"

_Even his pet doesn't remember him? _For some reason, the guilt in his chest rose. "Look dude, you can still stay… but I want to be able to call you something at least."

"I'm no one. No one at all." Tears were welling up in those pretty violet eyes as he wrapped his arms around himself as if to prevent himself from falling apart completely. "I… I should just disappear for good then, huh? I wasted everyone's time…"

"I enjoyed your company," America told him, as if it really made a difference. "I just… don't know you."

"I don't know why I'm surprised," the other responded bitterly as he headed to the door. "Well, that's that then. I'll see you at the meetings, Alfred."

"Wait, you're leaving? Dude, don't do that!" he exclaimed, grabbing the male's arm only to have his hand smacked away. "I mean, come on! I don't remember half of the names of the people I know! Don't take it so seriously…!"

"…I might as well be an extension of you." And the other smiled sadly back at him, shoulders shaking. "If you don't know me, then I'm the last one left with a clue."

"What are you talking about?" He wondered only for the door to slam shut, Kumawhatever licking at his paws.

"You upset that guy. Whoever he was."

America only stared back.

"Gee, you think?"

* * *

><p>"<em>So you're not joining me after all, are you?"<em>

"_Sorry, Alfred…" Matthew buried his face in his bear, blushing heavily. "I-I… I'll take good care of your citizens though… even if they are traitors to you…"_

"_Please do. You're a good person so I know they'll love living with you." Alfred smiled. He already saw Arthur cry in the rain and the last thing he wanted right now was for Matthew to be hurt the same way. "I'll… miss you."_

"_S-Same here…" And just as Canada turned away, America reached out and yanked the other to his chest, startling the other with his hot breath in his ear. "A-Alfred?"_

"_Are you sure… you don't want to be one with me?" His arms snuck around his waist as he nuzzled into his neighbor's hair. "We'd be great together… You wouldn't ever be in anyone else's grasp again."_

"…_Because I would be only yours." Matthew sounded deflated. Alfred smiled._

"_Is that… such a bad thing? I'd be good to you. I would love you. Isn't that what you want?"_

_Canada smiled bitterly and slumped in America's embrace. "Oh, Alfred… You're not the only one that cherishes freedom."_

_Alfred's eyes shot wide as he felt the sharp teeth of that damned bear sink into his arm and he pulled away with a gasp, watching as his brother ran from him yet again._

_He cursed as he stared at the teeth marks on his arm and finally let it be._

_It wouldn't be until the war of 1812 where he'd lose control yet again with his northern neighbor._

* * *

><p>"Maybe he wasn't even real… but in that case, you wouldn't be here either."<p>

"Huh?" The bear looked at him oddly. "Maybe. I still don't know him though… can you feed me?"

"Ah, sure thing," Alfred bit his lip as he searched through the freezer for something for the bear. "Doesn't he take care of you though?"

"I should be saying the same thing to you… You have less of an excuse. You're _family_."

America paused.

"Family…? Maybe that's why he knew France and England…"

"They're family too. They're worse. They don't even see him when they look at him. You're pretty terrible though… You look at that guy and… don't even know what you see."

"What I see, eh? I wish I knew, though… I wish I knew." He pulled out a steak and tossed it to the bear. ''It doesn't make a difference though. He's still gone and there's nothing I can do about it."

"Maybe… maybe not."

* * *

><p>"Is he real or isn't he?" England sounded exasperated. "You have to tell me something, America!"<p>

"Shouldn't you know, though? Think, England! I wasn't your only colony was I?"

"N-No… There was Australia and…" The former empire pursed his lips, struggling to think. "There was that one… and the others…"

"That one? Wait… didn't someone come live with us after that dumb war of yours with France?" America thought back, remembering another small hand in his in those days, remembering a reflection that didn't require a mirror. "Some other kid…"

"Yes, but he wasn't a very memorable child…" Arthur sighed. "Loyal though and very polite… I believe he's his own nation now… I wonder how that lad turned out…"

Alfred looked at him, horrorstruck. "Shouldn't you know? How long ago, England?"

"I… can't remember…" England looked ashamed. "Should I?"

The 'yes' in his throat died on his lips.

* * *

><p>"It's like there are pieces… scattered everywhere… and all this time it feels like it's been a dream."<p>

Japan frowned. "Perhaps… it was a dream?"

"No, no… He's real. He's real and he's hurt. But why don't I remember him?"

"Maybe you are trying to repress something, America-san. That is… normal for humans and it can happens to nations as well."

"But what would I…?" He stopped, paling. "_Oh_… oh."

"…Oh?" Kiku jumped as the other nation fell to the ground, freaking. "A-Alfred-san?"

"Oh God, even back then I tried… I tried…" America clenched his fists as he shook, terrified. "I… I'm not a monster, I'm not… I'm not… I try so hard to be…"

"Alfred-san, what's wrong?"

"England wasn't the one I wronged first, Kiku. I hurt him. I broke his heart. But I _didn't break_ _him_."

"Huh?"

"I wonder… why it's greed that gets me so far…" Alfred muttered before letting his eyes fall shut. "Even then…"

* * *

><p><em>Everything around them was in flames. Matthew was shaking as Alfred pulled him close, sighing. Canada was wrapped up in a brown coat and he was burning, withering in his arms.<em>

"_Why… Why would you do this to me?" He sounded like he couldn't believe it… like he wouldn't believe it. "I thought you loved me."_

"_I do love you and I'm only doing what's best for you. This proves it, doesn't it? Where's your precious England?" The northern nation's skin was scorching but still so intoxicating as he was pulled in closer to the point where America completely covered him. "This is what you drive me to do, Mattie…"_

"_A-Alfred…" Mattie whimpered as he was rocked back and forth, sniffling as everything around them burned and smoke rose higher into the air. "Alfred… Alfred you're a liar…"_

_Something snapped in him then as he shoved the other to the ground._

"_Is this what you want? This is going to keep happening if you aren't mine."_

_Canada didn't answer for a while and when he did, his lips were pointed into a frown and his eyes were full of pain and hate._

"_You damn hypocrite."_

* * *

><p><em>Alfred trembled as he gripped at his arms just as Matthew's freezing cold hands yanked him back and close as he gripped his southern counterpart's hair and forced him to look at the White House set ablaze.<em>

"_You said Arthur didn't love me," Canada gloated. "You said he didn't give a damn. Look at this and see how wrong you were."_

"_F-Figures you'd be too weak to get your own revenge, Mattie," America barked out a laugh, cringing against the fire in his body. "You're just a snake."_

"_I didn't want to do this to you." He was shoved down, pinned beneath the other's boot as Matthew shook. "I didn't want to hurt you. You hurt me first. What choice did I have but to run back to Arthur?"_

_Alfred didn't respond, eyes still stuck on his flaming capitol building. "…You just had to be mine and that was it…"_

"_Listen to yourself!" Canada exclaimed as he broke away, disgusted. "You hated being controlled by Arthur! You despised it and I saw you break away from him… I saw you walk away from him when it was raining! You wanted freedom and you want me, but what are you denying me? MY FREEDOM! Do I not deserve to be your equal?"_

"…_I don't know what I want… when so many voices are screaming at the same time…" And then the young nation buried his face in his arms and shook. "I-I want everyone to be happy… but I don't want to be alone, Matt…"_

_Matt froze._

"…_America…" He hesitated. "I don't know what I'll do with myself if you can't see me anymore."_

_And then Canada knelt down, rubbing at the other's back._

"_I love you. I really do. But if we're to be together… I'd like us to be on the same level… maybe as nations… someday, when I can ask Arthur and when I can rely on myself."_

"_Please. You'll fade away out there."_

"_Maybe. But…" Matthew smiled shakily and Alfred refused to unbury his face or move from his position on the ground. "You'll… still see me, won't you?"_

_There was no answer for a long while as the White House burned on._

* * *

><p>America held his coat together as the wind blew and he knocked at the door, waiting.<p>

No answer.

"Mattie," he knocked against the door again. "I know you can hear me. Let me in."

"W-Who are you talking to…?"

The voice on the other end sounded so small and so scared. Alfred frowned.

"You. Open up."

Matthew obeyed, pulling the door open and slouching, looking so afraid and so lost. "W-What do you want?"

"I want you."

He froze and shrunk back. America immediately realized his mistake.

"No, not like that… I just want you with me. I want my brother back, Matt…"

"H-How long has it been since you've seen me as your brother…?" Matt mused, averting his gaze as he sighed softly. "For so long, I've just been a piece of land… an extension… and since I don't belong to anyone… I'm nothing."

"You're not. You're just… fragments right now." His northern neighbor looked at him indifferently before brushing past him and walking out into the wilderness behind him. "Matthew, France said someone was missing and England's at a loss of feeling grateful towards someone… You're not 'nothing'."

"Alfred, they won't see me."

"You won't see yourself. Matthew, there are parts of you that you leave. Even if England and France don't realize it… I do. I didn't see you because I was afraid… I was afraid if I saw you, you would hate me…" America smiled sadly. "I don't like being hated, Matthew. Heroes aren't hated and if I'm supposed to be one…"

Matthew said nothing.

"I was selfish. I still am. But it's different now. I still want you. I still love you. But I don't want you to be chained to me or to anything like that."

"…You're lying."

"I'm not!" America shouted. "You know that since you still trust me… you… you ran to me because you were looking for pieces of yourself since you felt so broken… You thought you could find it all if with me but I don't have all the pieces. The rest of the world that has you does. Not just France or England, but other nations who appreciate you like that druggie guy and Russia's weird busty older sister!"

"Netherlands and Ukraine…" Canada corrected him, softly. "But… Netherlands has Belgium, Ukraine has Russia, and I…"

"You have me. We're family, so we'll always have a piece of the other… I just pushed you away because you had a piece of me that I wanted to forget I had… not that it made a difference." The American shrugged then, his smile sheepish. "I may have gotten a lot more powerful, but deep down… I'm still me. I can't deny that."

"America, do you honestly think I don't try to be seen?" Matthew turned to him and he was frowning. "I try. I really do. It doesn't make a difference."

"That's not true."

"Alfred…"

"It isn't, alright? Look Mattie, I know it's hard on you even if I don't completely understand… but I know that…"

"What do you know, Alfred? _What do you know_?"

Yet again, he had no answers… except for one.

"I know that you're hurting. And that's more than enough reason for me to try and help you put yourself back together."

"Because you're a hero?" The question was empty and he shook his head.

"No… because you're my Mattie."

Matthew looked away and sighed. "You're so confusing, Alfred."

"…I've dreamt of you completely disappearing, Matt. I don't want that to happen, so… please?" Alfred extended his hand towards the other. "It… It's scary… seeing the one you love fading completely under your fingertips…"

Canada stared at him for the longest time, only to perk up when the rain started to fall all around, before erupting into a downpour and he flinched, trying in vain to cover himself with his arms before America walked up and slung his dripping bomber jacket over his shoulders, wrapping his arm around him with a slight grin. "Come on, let's go inside."

Matthew opened his mouth to protest but sneezed instead and flinched Alfred's lips were pressed against his temple.

"Before you catch a cold, and that'll be a little too much, won't it?"

Canada coughed and smiled sadly up at his brother.

The rain continued on.

* * *

><p>This is open-ended and confusing. I am deeply, deeply sorry about this irritatingly confusing piece of work... But, that said, I still wanted to contribute this for rather... odd reasons.<p>

America's history of growth consists of stomping on weaker groups and grabbing more. There's no way around it. America's stuck with the reputation of believing every other country is lesser... We don't need a World Fair to prove that if we simply look into history itself. I believed this affects the character Alfred but not severely like others portray, more like it's a side of America that Alfred knows exists, but wants to suppress no matter at what cost... in turn denying a fragment of himself that makes him who he is... and a fragment that influenced Canada a little into who he is.

He's well-meaning (America itself is, in a weird sort of way) and I wish to keep that in mind when writing his character. I wanted to experiment with a mature and more thoughtful side to the America character since I know this character exists and I don't really see much of him... sadly. I probably failed, but I don't regret trying.

As for Canada... oh, Canada... Yes, I love Canada to death and it's sad seeing him ignored all the time, but I find it impossible to believe that he hasn't at least left an impression on those close to him. Canada's a nation that's overlooked often, in real life and in Hetalia, but he's never _truly_ forgotten, I think. This story in itself is experimenting with a more desperate and fragmented Matthew trying to find all the pieces of his identity within America's shadow, not realizing that he's still not complete due to having other people near and dear to him who also hold 'pieces' of him.

It's only implied who those other people are, but it's pretty damn obvious, ain't it? But this is meant to be a one-shot because honestly... I don't want to screw up this story anymore than I already have.

I really like the relationship between these brothers, whether they'd be family, friends, or even lovers. It's just a very interesting dynamic that they two have and that I believe only the two would get. I just wish there were more stories going into this pairing rather than USUK or PruCan... But I'm just a history geek with a weird obsession with twins so meh.


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